Ok, I gotta ask something.

I am a man. I use urinals. I don’t really like it…but hey, I do what I gotta do.

How in God’s name do fucking pubic hairs get on the dam urinal?!?!

I mean it’s one thing to see the stray hair on the brim of a toilet, sure. I understand that. But when all you gotta do it pull out your tally whacker and piss in the hole how do pubic hairs get there? These aren’t regular pubes either. These are mutant Chernobyl pubes. They are so long and gangly, I swear a few of them tried to take me into bathroom hell once. I try not to look or wonder about them, but it’s just so off. Is it possible to grow hairs on your shaft?! That’s the only way other then intentional hair placement (which should be punishable by no less then 10 lashes.). I am at a loss. I can’t fathom how it happens.

If you are one of those men…please…I kindly ask…for the love of all that is pure and good CUT YOUR BALL HAIRS! It’s ignorant. Really. If I ever catch one of you filthy bastards I am gonna drop a few of mine in your dam coffee cup. So watch the hell out.