What Did You Say???
Thinking on my last post about how those dumb-ass ladies acted on the phone it made me remember how much other people piss me off in an average day…
I really don’t like people in general…they are selfish, rude, ignorant, and gross. For the most part…
The way those women on the phone spoke also made me think of other people from my life that I wanted to push out of a window. Mainly because of the way they acted or the way they said certain things. You ever heard someone say something that at the time and in the context they were saying it, it obviously sounded like a real word and made sense. Though, when you thought about what they said, they completely mangled the word…and from that point on you noticed it every time it happened and with every misspoken syllable your urge to spray fart in their dinner became increasingly harder to resist???
You know what I am talking about…don’t play dumb with me…
Here are a few…and I know you have heard people say this shit and wanted to smack them for it.
- forward as:
- fo-ward: You mostly hear wannabe-country assholes saying this. You know what cock??? There is an ‘r’ in the middle of the word. I hope you get hit in the eye by bird crap infected with bird flu.
- schedule as:
- shed-yool: Pretentious snobby tight pants wearing child molesting sickos say this a lot.
- human as:
- uman: The same white dick fucks that say shed-yool say this a lot too…BURN!!!
- package as:
- pagg-edge: Ohhh man this one is really a pain in the crack for me…I was in a meeting one time and I swear every fucking time this guy said something he ended it with pagg-edge just for my delight. I was trying to find a way to give this guy Herpes but decided just to hang him and carve the word package into his body so no one ever makes the same mistake he did. Keep an eye on the news for this.
- thing as:
- think: This one is hard to figure out at first, but after you hear them say “What do you think about that think?” you realize the horrible truth. That they are now required to die. You like killing though…so enjoy it! :^)
- street as:
- skreet: You will hear a lot of ghetto hoochies and hard core gang bangers saying this…they don’t know that they actually have a speech impediment…so cut them some slack…
- are as:
- are-a: Again, come on leave them alone…they are young urban citizens just looking for a way to get by, they had it rough growing up…
- birthday as:
- birfday: That’s funny…did you say birfday? As if to replace the ‘th’ with an ‘f’??? Haha, that’s funny you crazy murderous drug addicts…
- mom as:
- moms: Look, you people don’t even know how many mothers you have…they think they have more then one…haha, can someone please fill them in on the fact they can only have one mom please and that by adding an ’s’ to the end of a word denotes more then one, I don’t think they were taught that on the corner…
- ask as:
- ax: OK, I am tired of being nice…time to get some. Just because you say you have an “accent” does not mean you need to sound like you have a penis in your mouth when you talk. Just say ask…I know you can do it you fucking dirty city dwelling rats. Look, I will help you…first say ASS then say the first part of KILL. So it’s ASSKILL minus the ILL…never mind…you can’t do math. If you say ax instead of ask just go ax your moms for a 40 of malt liquor on your birfday and scream are-a in the skreet. You won’t be there long because I am coming to run you the hell over with my truck and KILL your ASS.
- library as:
- lie-berry: This one is really not so bad…ok I am lying…obviously the people who say this have no business even thinking about a library because they will never be able to read anything in one.
- diabetes as:
- di-beat-uhhs: The only person I ever heard say this was that old twat the Quaker oats commercial guy. Apparently, now that he is older someone decided to hire him to sell something on TV reminding you that Diabetes is bad. Even though I don’t see the commercial a lot this one makes it on the list just because when I do hear it I black out and bad things happen. You know why the Holocaust happened??? Some one said di-beat-uhhs to Hitler.
- asterisk as:
- ass-trick: I actually laughed when I heard this one for the first time. I forget where I was but as soon as I heard it I wanted to ask what kind of tricks did her ass performs. Instead I pulled out a shovel and beat her senseless.
- picture as:
- pitcher: I hear this spoken by those overweight soccer mom’s that like to send chain e-mails because they had a kitten or the word Jesus in them. How about you bless us with dying and going right to where you belong…HELL!
- tiger as:
- tager: The mother of one of my friends says this…I have only heard her say it once and I couldn’t be sure if she was joking or not. So I immediately set fire to her house and laughed as she boiled inside. Then once the fire died out I had sex with the remains…just to be sure. Sorry man…
If you find your self compelled to say any of these words in my presence you will very quickly feel the pain of my wrath.
On second thought…just never talk to me…
